I was recently led to this blog by a friend and have enjoyed some of the insights given.
This most recent post particularly speaks to me as it has been something I have been struggling with as of late. I know Yahweh has something planned for my life and I can’t help but wonder what He’s waiting for. I’m more ready than I’ve ever been for a change in my life; at least, that’s what I’ve gotten from my soul-searching.
CAUTION: COMPLETE HONESTY AHEAD. DON’T TAKE THIS LYING DOWN. 🙂
I want to move out…..I need to move out…..I have to move out. My parents told me I need to find a place by June. I don’t have a job yet but I’m working toward my career, finally. It’s hard to look for a place when you don’t know how much money you’re gonna be taking in. I have so much on my mind right now too:
– I have people that want to hang out with me or that I want to hang out with cause I haven’t in awhile. I also have a friend or two that I have to find time to meet so I can return items to them.
– I have things I need to take care of for school, this semester and next year.
1. I’m sick, and once I’m well I have to go back to Biola’s Health Center to complete my
required entrance physical.
2. I have to finish my chapel make-ups before I can finish registering for my classes.
3. I need to get my application for next year out soon; I won’t be at Biola next year 😦 .
4. Nothing I really need to do or anything I’m really worried about anymore but I just wanna
get this out for those of you interested in how my 1st semester at Biola went. I failed all of
my classes except for one, Psychology. At least it’ll transfer as a GE requirement.
– I need to get to work on my Apple certification training.
– I have computers and things of that nature that I need to work on and get moved out of my room.
– I need to organize and clean up my room.
– I have stuff I need to get up on eBay to finally sell and get rid of. Eventually I’ll get up a list of my stuff that I’m selling, maybe with links and pictures. I have stuff that little kids, pre-teens and even some teens and adults might enjoy (Pokemon or Yu-gi-Oh! cards anyone?).
– I need to look for a place. I want/need to move out with friends otherwise I’m not gonna be able to afford it or I’ll end up living off credit, which is the last thing I want to end up doing.
– I’m concerned there might be something seriously wrong with my health. I’ve told my parents about this for a couple years and my dad just tells me it’s a family thing and it’s nothing to worry about. Doctors haven’t said that it’s anything. How are sharp, stabbing chest pains nothing to worry about? I’m not paranoid; I just want it to stop. Quite frankly, I want there to be something seriously wrong with me cause that would explain things.
– Along with my health problems, my sleeping habits are totally screwed up. I’ve been reading Twilight (which btw, I’ve been loving reading), and I think I’m becoming a vampire. All kidding aside though, most of my sleep has been taking place during the daylight hours. I fall asleep when it’s getting lighter and wake up when its just about dark. I’m trying to change this but its difficult. This awkward sleep schedule creates problems with eating habits and in getting things done. It isn’t very often, maybe 2-3 times a week, that I have more than one meal a day at a normal hour (meaning 2am meals don’t count).
– For this problem I’ll only name 2 songs and the rest is up to you:
1. “I’m Only Me When I’m With You” by Taylor Swift
2. “Hey There Delilah” by Plain White T’s
– I also need to find a job. I’ve never let money be something that I worry about. I’m very firm in my belief that my Father will always provide for me and, so far, He hasn’t let me down. The economy as it is now hasn’t really changed my philosophy. Money is one of the reasons I’m not returning to Biola next year. I just need a steady flow of income. Unless His plan is for me to win the lottery lol.
I don’t think I forgot anything in there. I’m so stressed right now and I need help. I don’t know what I’m gonna do for some of these things. Some of my solutions are preliminary, some seem drastic; yet I’m very seriously considering them. I need someone to help guide me through this time in my life. There’s a song I’ve been listening to lately and I love how it reminds me of Who will always be there for me. The song is “You’re Not Alone” by Meredith Andrews. He’s been here to help wipe away my tears. I still need someone to walk alongside me, to hold me accountable. I pray and pray and I’ll continue to pray. Just as Yahshua says: “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”-Matthew 7:7-8. So apparently persistence does pay off. And if you read this long post then you’re very persistent as well. 🙂