It’s been quite awhile since I’ve blogged on here. Lately, I’ve felt like I’ve needed to update everyone on what’s going on with me. I’ve found that even with those close to me that I trust, I still don’t seem to be able to fully express my thoughts and feelings in person. The only way I seem to be able to do that is to write them down. This was really evident during my time in Boracay, when I started my habit of journaling. The rest of this post will explain everything that has been going on with me recently, including stuff that I said I would fill you all in on awhile back. Here goes:
First off, over a year ago, I went to see a cardiologist about my heart. I had said that I would let you all know how that went. And yet, I failed to do that for over a year. I’ve told people here and there. I tell you, not because I want sympathy or pity or any sort of special treatment or the like, but because I feel that my friends have a right to know that there is something different about me and if they see something happening to me, to have an idea of what is going on. I have a mitral valve prolapse, which is a defect of one of my heart valves. Basically, instead of the valve merely opening and closing, it opens and clicks shut, which explained the clicking sound that the cardiologist heard. I’ve probably had it since birth and, by itself, is not very serious. However, I was supposed to go back in for a check-up appointment almost a year ago but, as I no longer had insurance nor the money to pay for it, I never went back. The main purpose of the check-up was to see whether my condition had gotten better, but not the valve. My pericardium had filled with liquid and if it didn’t go away, then it would be a condition known as pericarditis. This is not something that should go untreated. As I have researched, I’ve found that one of the possible complications is potentially fatal. This has worried me but, at the same time, I’m also relieved to know what is actually wrong with me. I still want to go back in for that check-up at some point as I would like to know what has happened with that.
It has been nearly two years and I have yet to find a steady job. I was fired by Wal-mart in October 2008 for what they said was too many “un-excused” absences. What actually happened was that I gave them my school schedule for that semester and they didn’t like how few hours I could work. After conceding slightly on a few hours, they continued to schedule me during times that I was in class. When I didn’t show up for work, they counted it as a “no-call, no-show”, even though I told them the day before every time that I wasn’t gonna show up. After two of those, I was given a “warning” to not do it again. I knew I had another day coming up that I was scheduled during class yet again and I told them that after being given the warning. They wouldn’t even let me switch shifts with anyone! This day also happened to fall on the day after my birthday. So, when I came in for my next shift that Saturday, I worked the first 7 hours of my shift before I was called into the office and fired. Technically, I had been fired as of Monday (the day after my bday), but they still made me work those 7 hours (which I at least got paid for). I’m sure this is part of the reason I have not been able to find a job. I’m glad to have the little work I’ve done at Calvary these past few months. I’d love to turn that into something more consistent as I love doing it, but I doubt that’s gonna happen. I want to get something that’ll move me towards my career, but I’ll take pretty much anything right now cause no one seems to want me. I even got as far as a hiring seminar for a new Apple Store and even they didn’t want me. I haven’t been too worried about my finances until very recently, but I need money; that’s all there is to it.
Back in January, I was talking with a friend of mine, Gary Smith, who had just gotten back from doing missions work in Kenya. As we talked, I felt like God was calling me to go out there. After praying and talking more about it, we decided we were going to go to Liz Gold, the missions director, to see if we could start up a missions team to go out there this summer. After we explained it to her and got a few things taken care of, we were approved and the journey began. When the trip got close, we found out that we had to change our flights because of political issues in Kenya. After much waiting, we were told that the switch was not possible and that the trip, for now, was cancelled. This was very disappointing, but it was a time of trusting that God’s plan for us was better. After finding this out, they asked if any of the other missionaries from Calvary wanted to have a team come out on short notice, as we were all still willing to go out somewhere. That was answered by the Beavers, who do various things on the island of Boracay in the Philippines. We set out on July 21st for Boracay and, if you haven’t already, you can read about the trip at our blog: http://kenyastorm2010.wordpress.com/ . We got back on the night of August 6th (the longest day of my life!) after a fun layover in Tokyo and short stop in Hawaii.
It was a life-changing trip for me and I’m having a hard time being back. I want to work with kids again and I hope to find some way of doing that here. I’m having a hard time believing that this is just the typical post-trip syndrome or whatever. I want to be around people a lot more so I just tend to hang out with the same people because it’s easy (and because I love hanging out with those people!). Of course, I’m also being hounded by people who want my attention now that I’m back, but I’ve been very selective of who I interact with and I feel bad about those that I have been ignoring. I want to hang out with y’all too! If you’re reading this and I have been ignoring you, I’m truly sorry. I’m not mad at anyone; I just need time to adjust. I’m trying to get around to everybody, but I have so much that I have to do in such a small amount of time. As my friends, y’all mean the world to me and I don’t know where I’d be without you guys. I care so much about each and every one of you and I don’t wish to alienate any of you. Please keep bugging me if I haven’t answered you otherwise I’ll forget; it’s been happening a lot lately and when I do remember, it’s a bad time to do anything about it. Seriously guys, I love you and I want to keep y’all in the loop. Give me a chance to adjust, get a start on the changes I’m making, and I’ll be back. I won’t be the same as I used to be, that’s for sure!
p.s. I haven’t been to Disneyland in over a month and honestly, it feels great! Now I just wish they’d hire me……